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THOUGHTS TO PONDER
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Life is sexually transmitted.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich!
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to
use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but
you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the
stairs.
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among
the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a
clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are
located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge
of immigration.
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