When you are sad -
I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard
who made you sad.
When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile - I will know you've finally had sex.
When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be
and to quit whining.
When you are confused - I will use little words.
When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again, I
whatever you have.
When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
And remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will
move a body. Let me
know if I ever need to bring a shovel.